Grief is a very hard thing to go through. For your loved one who has just gone through it, surely, they, too, are under so much confusion. There’s pain, agony, fear of how to move on with their lives, and many things that are just running through their minds. So, as someone dear to them, you’ve got the responsibility to help out and give the best support you can.
When you’ve got a grieving loved one, it can often feel confusing how to give them the proper care and support. Of course, it’s understandable that you may not know what to say or that you’re afraid of saying the wrong things. The last thing you’ll want to happen is to say or do something that’ll only be offensive, particularly at a time when the emotions of your grieving loved one is unstable. Whether they lost a baby, parent, sibling, or anyone dear to them, grief will always be a very hard emotion to process through.
This is why it’s important that you know how to provide support. After all, such is expected of you, especially during such trying times. To help you out in demonstrating your care, here’s how you can provide support to a grieving loved one:
1. Send Flowers
While this may seem like a very common and obvious thing to do, flowers can really help cheer people up. Even if this may only be temporary, it’s still worth seeing that smile on their faces. Let them know you care by sending flowers.
It’s hard to explain why flowers have that power over the receiver – but, it just does. That’s precisely why whenever someone’s going through a hard time, you’ll always see flowers. Be it at the hospital bed or even during the wake and funeral.
To shed more light on how flowers can help your grieving loved one, here are some good reasons:
- It holds a greater sentimental value;
- It has spiritual significance, especially regarding death;
- It can be personalized, fit to tailor the recipient or the one who just passed on.
2. Understand Grief
Especially if you live together with that loved one going through grief, it’s very important for you to understand it. Remember that this loved one is going to go through a roller coaster of emotions. But, this has nothing to do with you. It has more to do with them – and how they process grief.
So, now’s not the time for you to take anything personally or to steal the spotlight away from them. Understanding grief can help ensure that you’re with them every step of the way. That way, your loved one is able to go through the stages of grief, which is necessary for moving on.
Remember the following:
- There’s no right or wrong way to grieve; and
- There’s no set timetable for grieving.
3. Don’t Tag Them In Photos Of The Dead
In this day and age of social media, pictures are forever. They’re all over the Internet, and it’s now easier than it has been before to go through old memories and dig up old photos.
But, this isn’t the time for it. Whenever possible, minimise tagging your grieving loved one in photos of the dead. This won’t help them, as these photos will only keep sending them back to that rueful spiral.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that they’re going to avoid these photos and memories forever. Eventually, your loved one will have to see these photos again and process through the memories. But, give them time to decide on this one their own and at their own terms.
4. Know When To Listen
In many instances, it’s not what you say but actually how you listen that makes the whole difference. Sometimes, all your grieving loved one needs is a listening ear. Even if what they’re saying doesn’t make sense, they’re going in circles, or they’re unable to process their emotions quite well, just give them time to talk.
Sometimes, they just want to let feelings get out of their chest. Plus, giving them that listening ear reassures them that you’re there. You’re that someone they can talk to without any fear of judgment or repercussions.
Plus, the more you stay silent, the lesser mistakes you’ll make too. You don’t have to be very picky with your words just to be sure that you won’t say anything wrong.
Along that line, here’s how you can listen – and talk to your grieving loved one:
- Acknowledge the situation, and remind them that their feelings are real and valid;
- Accept how your loved one feels;
- Ask them regularly how they feel.
Conclusion
For people going through dark moments of grief, it’s really the support of their friends and family members that can get them by. It makes a whole lot of difference when they’ve got a strong support system rather than if they had to suffer through it alone. Grief isn’t forever, but for others it may be long. Because this is your loved one suffering through now, all the more you’ve got to step up your care, love, and presence.