I Finally Had ‘Me-Time’ and Felt Lonely!

As a busy mummy, I crave me-time. Just blissful time where I’m not required to change nappies, cook, clean or keep up with the pile of washing that never seems to end. I wanted to be able to go to the loo without a mischievous one year old following me, and eat a snack without a tiny hand pointing at it and throwing a hissy fit if I didn’t share.

Well last month, I actually had the opportunity to spend a full day and night on my own. It was my father in law’s birthday and as I was working, I couldn’t go to the usual family celebration up in Yorkshire so Hubs took Isla up to Whitby for the weekend, and once I’d finished my shift on Saturday afternoon, I had the whole place to myself until they got back on Sunday evening. I decided not to make plans with friends on the Saturday and just enjoy some quiet time in an empty house for a change instead of dashing off here and there.

Well guess what? I was lonely. And bored.

I really missed my husband and baby girl. This was my first weekend completely on my own since Isla was born and once the initial “aaahhhhh, peace and quiet” novelty wore off, I was genuinely at a loss for what to do.

I binged on a few episodes of Game of Thrones (one of which was the Red Wedding episode which just bummed me out more!) got myself a nice tea and curled up in bed with a good ole chick flick. But I hated not having bedtime cuddles with my family, and hearing Isla’s sleepy snuffles over the baby monitor.

But the worst part came in the morning. I woke with a start at 6.30am (don’t you just hate waking up early when you don’t have to?!) and noticed I couldn’t see the green light on Isla’s baby monitor in our room. I then panicked that she’d woken up and I hadn’t heard her. I went into the hallway and saw her door, which is always closed, was wide open. Panicking, I ran into her room and saw her cot was empty. I can’t describe how horrifying that feeling was, that my little girl had been taken. I was terrified and searched all around the cot in case she’d somehow climbed out, then ran into our room to grab my phone to call the police (yes, I know…). It was then I noticed that the reason I hadn’t seen the light on the monitor was because the baby monitor in our room wasn’t there. In my befuddled state I wondered if the kidnappers had stolen the monitors too. It was then that I remembered that Isla, and the monitors, were in Yorkshire. The relief was immense and I needed a good few minutes to compose myself!

Looking back it all sounds so silly, but you know what it’s like when you’re half asleep and you’re wondering if the dream you just had was real? That’s what it was, nothing made sense!

But I really did miss Hubs and Isla so much and all that Sunday I couldn’t wait for them to get home! Typical, I’d wanted time to myself and when I got it, all I wanted was my noisy family back!

Like this? You’ll love Rachel’s last blog about how mum friends saved her sanity

About Rachel Armitage

I’m a writer turned stay at home mum, raising our little redheaded beauty out in the sticks and documenting journey along the way, the good, the bad and the very very ugly!