You’ve ‘just’ had a baby. You’re deep in the fog of sleepless nights, endless feeding, and a body that barely feels like your own. But just as your pelvic floor is starting to recover, you start to feel – weird. Perhaps a hot flush, but you think it’s a short lived fever… until another one, and another one. Brain fog descends… or is it baby-brain? There’s an unease, some palpitations, headaches that make you need to lie down, and your periods are ridiculously heavy.
It’s normal, right? Having a baby can do all sorts to you, right? But what if you are late 30s, even early 40s? What if you google and instead of a reassuring wisdom about the postpartum year, you start reading about… perimenopause?! Surely not. Surely you can’t be fertile and breastfeeding and all that AND your body prepping itself for old age?!
But for many of us, that’s exactly what it is. And hardly anyone is talking about it.
The crossover no one warns you about
We’re taught to expect the chaos of new motherhood. We know about the hormonal crash after birth, the baby blues, the exhaustion. But what’s rarely mentioned is that for some of us, the postpartum period can unmask and might even trigger early perimenopause – especially if we’ve had hormonal issues before, like endometriosis, PCOS, or fertility treatment. And if you’ve had a surgical birth involving ovary removal or complications, menopause might be immediate and full-blown.
What’s more, because the symptoms overlap – such as mood swings, anxiety, fatigue, low libido, irregular bleeding – doctors (and even we) often put it all down to “just being a mum”. But if you feel like something deeper is happening, it’s worth listening to that gut instinct.
You’re not too young
Here’s what you need to know: perimenopause can start up to 10 years before your final period, and for some women, that’s in their mid to late 30s. For others, it might be brought on by medical or surgical reasons, like our founder, Kate. And yet, there’s still this huge assumption that menopause is something that happens to women in their 50s, the old barren crone stereotype still perpetuates around menopause. So when younger women who are just entering their midlife phase start reporting symptoms, they’re often dismissed.
It’s not uncommon to be told you’re “just tired”, “probably depressed” or “hormonal after the baby”. And yes, those things might be true, but they shouldn’t be used to write off your very real symptoms and experiences.
The emotional cost of silence
Being a young mum going through early menopause or perimenopause can be isolating. You might feel like you’re grieving your body, your fertility, your sense of control — and doing it all while juggling a baby on your hip. It’s not just physical; it’s emotional, deeply personal, and often invisible.
In The Motherload community, we’ve heard from countless women who felt utterly alone in this experience. They didn’t know where to turn and felt brushed off by GPs. They second-guessed themselves, telling themselves maybe it’s how everyone feels after having a baby. And yet, when they finally got answers through blood tests, referrals, or simply speaking up, it’s like a lightbulb moment – suddenly, everything started to make sense.
You’re not alone – and you deserve support
If you’re reading this and thinking this might be me, please know you’re not imagining things. Your experience is valid. You deserve to be taken seriously. And most importantly, you are not alone. Your baby isn’t the only one going through big changes – you deserve care, too.
So let’s talk about motherpause and the motherload. Loudly. Openly. Together.
