Moderating The Motherload: Can YOU Do It?

Moderating The Motherload: Can YOU Do It?

We are looking for new moderators to join the MOLO HQ team, who work very hard to look after one of the biggest and busiest parenting groups on Facebook – The Motherload®! Have a read through the responsibilities, and Ren, who’s been a moderator for more than a year, explains what it’s really like….

If you think YOU could do it, email our team: 

Role profile and key responsibilities

  • Filter through up to 530 member requests per day and to approve, or decline their request in line with our member approval guidelines.
  • Sift through pending posts and approve, decline or where appropriate, message the member for more information or to offer advice and resources away from the group timeline.
  • Monitor any provocative posts, potentially signpost members to further helpful information and take appropriate action when needed, including muting members for warnings.
  • Ensure members always follow the ethos of The Motherload®, including reminders, mute action and removals from the group.
  • Deal with reported posts in a polite and helpful manner.
  • Work with the MOLO Moderator Team to ensure that decisions are fair and consistent.

So what is it really like?

You know when you apply for a job and you get told what the actual role entails but you wish you could get the real insiders story? Well, I’ll try and give you exactly that.

When Kate, the Founder of The Motherload®, put a shout out for mods, I was on maternity leave at the time and I really liked the group, so I thought “yeah! I can go for that!”. I also thought,  ‘it’ll just be approving posts (or not) and occasionally checking in with the other moderators’. Easy. Peasy. Right?


How I underestimated everything this role would bring me!  The emotions. The rewards. The support. The new friends. The feeling that I was genuinely making a difference to other women’s lives, every day.

From the minute I wake up,  to the moment I go to bed, there is ALWAYS something that needs to be done, actioned, moderated, commented, approved, or declined on the group. We message members privately, we offer resources openly and discretely and we support women off and online at all times. Whatever their dilemma, situation, or issue, the team and I do our best to help and support from our beds, sofas and desks as much as we can. It’s not all down to me of course – there is a team of us. We chat every morning to see who is about for the day and try to make a plan so there is enough cover for the morning, afternoon and evening. Some periods are busier than others – for example, the morning can mean that there are a lot of posts waiting for approval, and in the evening when everyone has had a wine, we moderate the 286,000 weekly comments between our own sips of gin.

When it comes to approving and moderating, we are never alone in those decisions. We talk amongst ourselves, in the moderation team, about some of the posts and decide on a course of action. Our intention is ALWAYS the best outcome for our members and that doesn’t always mean posts being approved. Sometimes it means sending a private message to the member to make sure they’re okay, or offering them information that can help them through a tricky spot. Sometimes, it’s understanding that what they are posting about could be very sensitive, and we have to explain that gently and kindly to the MOLO so that they don’t feel dejected when they may already be feeling vulnerable. We always, always remain professional – even when sometimes, they may not be happy with our decision.

The two trickiest things about this (voluntary) gig;

Firstly, members who have had a post declined because it didn’t fit in with our guidelines, or ethos. This could be all manner of things, from “What shall I have for dinner tonight?” to  “What is this rash on my kids face?” or “What’s your take on vaccinations?” and “Am I pregnant?”. These are all examples of posts we don’t accept on The Motherload® and despite us having guidelines in the pinned post (check those buttons out!), some members then occasionally message you directly, and take it very personally that their post has been declined. Sometimes they even suggest that we go out of our way to have a personal vendetta against them – honestly, no really, with 57,500 MOLOs I promise, it is NEVER personal. I can’t even remember my own name after running through post approvals!

Secondly, MOLOs who are having the toughest time of their lives and reach out for support only to receive – albeit RARELY-  unhelpful advice or unkind words. It’s so sad when this happens and we feel really disappointed, sometimes even a bit mad because we feel so connected to the group and to MOLOs.

Of course, all the women here are from different walks of life. I’ve seen women struggling with money, with their own mental health, with their families and we see women in very dark places. They are most often the most beautiful souls who find themselves trapped in a life of domestic violence and women in the very depths of depression who are at the point of seeing only one more option open to them. We see the continuation of your situations, post by post and sometimes, that’s hard to watch. We feel connected to stories, achievements and the journeys of MOLOs.

It’s our job to step in and remove members who do not follow the ethos of the group, who cannot be kind, non-judgemental, rude or sanctimonious.  We always have your best interests at heart. Always.

The two best things about this (voluntary) gig; 

Since joining the moderation team, I have met, and befriended, a group of funny, amazing and intelligent women who all have a different point of view, experience, and insight to offer to our members. (We have mums who understand PND, anxiety, and medi-mums who have children with additional needs). I talk to them more than I do anyone else.  I know so much about them and they about me, about their lives, about their families, their work, their homes. We are there for each other. They are true friends. And we have brilliant ‘meetings’. With wine. LOTS of wine and gin!

We all, members and mods alike, giggle like mad over some of the funnies or the numerous ‘OMG FML’s’; rejoice in the pictures of mums getting a rare night out and the chaos our kids cause. But us mods have a care of duty to the members which means I am emotionally invested. I share in your successes, your sorrows, your best times and your very worst, and it fills my heart every day when I see women being amazing to one another, committing to kind acts, and making each other’s load a little lighter. It makes me proud, every day, to be a part of something so special.

If you can commit your time and are ready to be part of something bigger than you, something truly incredible, then have a chat with the mods about how you can help us out because we would love you to join the team. We are especially looking for moderators to help during the day – 7am and 7pm – as the days are getting busier all the time!

If you think YOU could do it, email our team at and have a chat. We can’t wait to meet you, MOLO Mod! 

Kate Dyson

Kate is the Founder of The Motherload, the 'owner' of one husband, two daughters, two cats and one rabbit. She loves wine, loathes exercise and fervently believes in the power of women supporting women. Find me on instagram: @themotherloadhq

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