Bounce, by Riona O’Connor
Pushed a baby out of my vagina
Glanced at a magazine got this reminder
Get up girl stop sitting on your bum
There’s no kid in there uhuh to a chubby tum
Think you got time to heal and recover
‘fore the world starts saying don’t look like a mother
There’s no baby evidence allowed on your form
So come on girl, suck it in, conform
Chorus
Will you bounce back? No I just bounce and wobble
Will you bounce back? No I gain ounces and gobble
All the carbs and chocolate in my house in my car
Could go jogging but I’ve not slept singing twinkle twinkle little star
Bounce bounce baby oh bounce bounce girl
Bounce that baby bounce that jelly jiggle all around the world
Bounce bounce baby bounce bounce woman
Feck bouncing feck bouncing feck bouncing feck bouncing back. Just bounce.
Nipples are raw gotta stave off cracks
Still I gotta book a bikini wax
Crying, laughing, hormones are a joke
Sitting on a pillow cause my hole is broke
Living in fear of fat and PND
Still I got to focus on not eating brie
Shed that baby weight second skin
Stop those cuddles, you gotta get thin
Chorus
Come on bounce back! Get self control sort your metabolism
Come on bounce back! Stop embracing that new cynicism
All the lady magazines I wipe my ass with
Photoshopped thighs make me feel sick, what? Women have thighs?
Bounce bounce baby oh bounce bounce girl
Bounce that baby bounce that jelly jiggle all around the world
Bounce bounce baby bounce bounce woman
Feck bouncing feck bouncing feck bouncing feck bouncing back. Just bounce.
Degree in keeping kids alive
Multi-tasking my arse off
Functioning on zero sleep
And still you want more from me
C section tummy pouch
Hangs like a fanny pack
It’s not cool since the 90’s
Gotta get that body back – what, where the fuck did it go????
Chorus
About Riona O’ Connor
Riona, AKA The Unnatural Woman is an actor, singer, over-eater and blogger, usually found on a West End stage. Nowadays she spends much of her time despairing over how to entertain her young baby or plotting how to make Wine Time as compulsory as baby groups and cake.
You can follow her on Facebook and here’s her brilliant blog
1 comment
Breish Rowe
25th March 2017 at 7:21 amCrying here! Laughed so much my baby fell off my boob! Bloody love this!