You Know You’re a Mum of Two When…

Mum of two - holding baby in her arms on the sofa while toddler hits her with a cushion

There are some things only a true Mum of Two can relate to!

You’ve had that second baby and this time around, you know what you’re doing and everything should be so much easier, right? So how come being a mum of two feels like juggling jelly, commanding an army of cats or like metamorphosing into a two-headed mythological beast?

Here are The Motherload’s top ten mum of two moments…

Top Ten Mum of Two Moments:

1) You’re sat at the kitchen table cutting plasticine shapes with one hand and breastfeeding a newborn with the other. And NOBODY is happy.

2) You read a bedtime story and 50% of your audience is either bored rigid, or ripping the pages out.

3) You’re a nervous wreck at bathtime; if the toddler isn’t trying to drown the baby, the baby is usually trying to drown herself.

4) You say “gentle!” in a firm, yet tentative manner 3,641 times per day.

5) You spend approximately 70% of any day being used as a fleshy climbing frame.

6) You basically remove all personal grooming from your day to day life because there is no time. Ever.

7) You have to pretend to reprimand a baby for grabbing a toy just to save them from getting a total bollocking from a three year old.

8) You wish you could train your ears and eyes to operate separately so you can monitor both targets individually.

9) You look back on the early days with your first born and wonder why on earth it seemed so hard. Just one baby to look after? That was like a holiday and you didn’t realise it at the time.

10) One day, you realise no one is competing for your attention, you look around and they are playing with each other. Your heart swells with pride, and then one of them twats the other on the head.

Share your mum of two moment with us in the comments below.


About Alison McGarragh-Murphy

Alison writes and edits stuff for The Motherload, and is also a radio producer and broadcast journalist, a mum of two and a wife of one. Since becoming a mother she has (mostly) gladly swapped a busy social life of gigs, pubs, art galleries and museums for dancing in the kitchen, drinking on the sofa, finger painting and hanging out at the park. She talks incessantly about not having slept for three-and-half years.

Image: Alison McGarragh-Murphy

  1. Rushlight 2 years ago

    Try having 3, each around 2 years apart and the middle one with additional needs. Since number 3 has been born my feet haven’t hit the ground. I’ve had to juggle a newborn, bf, playschool drop offs, school visits, sons 2 therapy groups, midwife visits, hv visits. Hubby not able to get time off work to help so I’m slowly going crazy!

  2. Passmethewine 2 years ago

    When my second was born, the first 6 months are a complete blur. I still managed to bring my toddler to preschool/playgroups/soft play, but it was such hard work. Id love a final baba, but I just don’t think I could cope with 3. Great article and she’s right – one is a breeze!

  3. Rug Leslie 2 years ago

    I’ll be there in 6 months. What one earth am I doing!!!

  4. Another Mother 2 years ago

    You know you’re a mum of 2 when you use your eldests dirty sock to wipe the snotty nose of your baby.

  5. Jemima Muddlefuck 2 years ago

    All so true and familiar. A few more…You think the buggy board is one of the greatest inventions ever. You curse the eldest child for stealing your sleep when the baby sleeps til 8am after a night feed but the big one still wakes you at 6am. Seeing them make each other laugh and giggle is the best thing ever and you’re glad to have given each of them a friend for life even if it feels like very hard work right now.

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