It’s all too much, quite frankly – and we’re not coping say Team MOLO. Here’s what to do if you are
experiencing motherload burnout, too.
Doesn’t life often feel like we’re juggling a million balls all at once? Whether we’re balancing work, home life, parenting, or caring for loved ones, it’s easy to feel like we’re spinning the motherload plates – and eventually, the plates are crashing down into a smashed pile of WTAF just happened. Motherload burnout is real – and it’s more common than we think for women when we’re raising kids against a background of demand from every other direction. But how do we spot it the signs of motherload burnout before it’s too late?
Let’s take a look at six signs of motherload burnout that we should all pay more attention to. And don’t worry – this isn’t one of those “you’re not doing enough” posts. It’s a reminder to listen to yourself, take a breather, and find ways to recharge from the mental load.
1. Feeling constantly tired (no matter how much sleep we get)
Running on empty has become the new normal for many of us. But when we’re constantly tired, no amount of sleep is going to fix it. It’s not just the physical exhaustion; it’s the emotional fatigue that is just as, or even more, draining. Waking up feeling like we haven’t had a restful night’s sleep in ages means that it’s time to check in with what’s going on. What’s pushing us to this point? What’s the root cause? Is it something easily fixable?
2. Our patience is on the floor
Remember when we used to be so calm, collected, cool? Remember how we used to handle stress – maybe even smiling through? Now we’re snapping over the tiniest of things. Spilled juice, argh! Kids shouting MAMA MUMMY MUMMMM for the 318th time today – ARGH. It seems like it’s suddenly crept up on us and we’ve got no patience (or f*cks) left to give.
When your emotional bandwidth starts to disappear, this is a critical sign of mental load burnout and it’s time to give ourselves space to recover. Finding that space? Yeah, that’s a problem, isn’t it?
3. We’re doing everything – and enjoying nothing
When motherload burnout hits, so does that feeling of wading through mud and suddenly every single thing becomes a chore. A night out with friends or a date night with our partner suddenly feels like another task we HAVE to do. Playing with our kids, taking them out for the day at the weekend, or spending time with family all creates an inner, long-winded groan. The joy just isn’t there anymore.
Finding things hard and struggling to find the joy in things that once bought us pleasure is a clear sign of burnout and fatigue – and it’s our mind and body’s way of telling us we need a damn break.
4. We’ve become masters of avoidance
If, like us, you’ve become really good at avoiding tasks, responsibilities and maybe even people right now, then you could be hitting burnout too. We’re just so OVER it all, you know? We’re overwhelmed and frankly just don’t want to deal with anything else. So we avoid, like the plague.
The only problem with this avoidance is that it piles up and can create even more stress. It’s a vicious cycle – the more we avoid, the more anxious we feel. Do our friends still like us? Is our work going to kick off? Is HMRC going to come after us if we don’t file that tax return?
Dodging work emails, ignoring calls, and rotting on the sofa are all signs we’re in need of detox – the digital kind. Switch off, read a book, go for a walk and rest your mind.
5. We don’t feel like we’re enough, no matter what we do
This one hits hard. Motherload burnout can leave us feeling like we’re failing at everything and is a horrible place to be. Work feels like a mega-headache, we’ve got mum-guilt from not being fully present for our kids, and suddenly it feels like everyone needs us – but how on earth do we meet everyone’s needs? It’s impossible, and yet this sense of inadequacy can make burnout feel even worse, despite us doing our best. We’re stretched thin – but that doesn’t mean we’re failing, it means we’re human.
6. We DGAF about anything
At some point, burnout makes us feel like we just don’t care anymore. Whether it’s at work, with the kids, or in our relationships, everything feels too much to handle. We’ve run out of all emotional energy and haven’t got anything left to give. Withdrawing and feeling emotionally uninvested are signs it’s time to step back, breathe and give ourselves some grace.
What to do if you recognise you are experiencing burnout:
If you’ve read this nodding along, it’s time to take action because motherload burnout can be serious. Here’s three practical things to try that will help relieve feelings of overwhelm and help us cope with the pressure we’re under.
1. Set boundaries and stick to them
Creating clear boundaries is essential for protecting our energy. This might mean saying “no” to extra work, setting aside specific time for ourselves, or even asking others to pitch in with tasks. Boundaries are about protecting our mental space – and when we do this, we’ll have more to give when it really counts. Don’t worry about being difficult. The sooner you practice boundary setting, the sooner everyone else will get used to respecting them.
2. Give yourself a break (and make sure you take it)
Scheduling downtime is one of the best ways to relieve burnout. Whether it’s a 10-minute walk, a quiet cup of tea, or simply sitting in silence, regular breaks allow us to step away from the chaos and reset. And importantly – we mustn’t skip them! These small moments can help our minds breathe and refocus, leaving us with more energy to tackle what’s ahead.
3. Talk it through with someone you trust
Sometimes, the best way to alleviate burnout is by simply sharing how we’re feeling with someone who gets it. Whether it’s a close friend, a partner, or The Motherload community of MOLOs, talking about the stress we’re under can be a huge relief. We don’t have to have all the answers, but just being heard can make a big difference in reducing the emotional load. Plus, others might even offer some helpful perspective or ideas we hadn’t considered.
Recognising motherload burnout is the first step in taking back control. It’s important that we prioritise our mental health and well-being – it’s not just about surviving, it’s about thriving and we all know that old adage of ‘you can’t pour from an empty cup’. If any of these signs are starting to ring true for you, it’s OK to take a moment to breathe, ask for help, and know that you’re not alone. So go ahead and put yourself at the top of the to-do list for a change. You deserve it.
Photo by Kinga Howard on Unsplash
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