Battle Of The Baby Hair

Battle Of The Baby Hair

I came out of pregnancy relatively unscathed. Yes, my back is a bit wider, my middle a bit squishier and my baps are unrecognisable from their former selves but it could have been a lot worse and all that is a very small price to pay for the crazy wonderfulness that is my son.

But there is one thing I have a real issue with. Baby hair.

Those wispy bits around my forehead that, no matter what I do, always seem to stand on end. The halo around the top of my head that looks like I’ve broken off great swathes of hair with some overzealous brushing. And the fluffy mullet I’m left with around the back of my neck when I put my hair up. Baby hairs, I hate you.

Bizarrely, I didn’t notice them when they first appeared. Before having to go back to work I rarely looked in the mirror other than for a quick check that there was no food around my face or baby vomit on my top as we headed out the door to another group or class.

It was my husband who brought them to my attention with a rather delightful “Are you going to wash your hair today? It looks a bit greasy and weird”. Yeah, thanks darling. I dashed to a mirror, wondering how the hair I’d actually and finally managed to wash that very morning was now apparently resembling an oil slick. And that was when I saw them, sticking out at tufty right angles all over the bloody place.

Maybe, I thought, they’ll be hidden if I take my ponytail down. But no. Still there. Taunting me. The little oiks.

A bit of research revealed this was delayed payment for those luscious locks I’d temporarily sported during pregnancy. I learned that increased hormones while you are growing a little person inside you tend to send the growing cycle of your hair follicles doolally, initially making them fall out less. But once little one is born and your innards settle down again, the older hairs decide it’s time to jump ship and make way for the newbies. Thus the abundance of baby hairs. As if us mums haven’t got enough to deal with.

So, what’s a MOLO to do? Well, after probing the marvellous mind of my hairdresser and consulting Auntie Google, it turns out there are a few things you can try if you want to do battle against the fluff like me.

I’ve compiled the best of the suggestions below for you, fellow sufferer. Good luck and remember, they will grow back… eventually!

1) Get a grip

Stock up on old school hair grips (or steal your daughter’s) and pin back any hair that refuses to do your bidding. Be warned they’re notoriously easy to lose and you’re bound to find masses of them when you empty the hoover bag.

2) Fringe benefits

If your baby hair horrors are centred around your forehead and you fancy a change anyway you could try a fringe to make them blend in. Although, it will mean repeated trips to the hairdresser to get it maintained or a steady hand with the nail scissors in the bathroom if you do it yourself.

3) Wet Wet Wet

If you want to try to style them into the rest of the hair then one way is to get them totally wet before blow drying them into place. Use your fingers to pull them taut and use one of those directional nozzle things on the end of your hairdryer to dry them into place in sections.

4) 1D

If number 3 sounds a bit faffy, try using a comb or brush to herd all your hair in one direction at the same time as you dry.

5) Don’t forget your toothbrush

Grab a new (or a very well cleaned) toothbrush, drench it with strong hold hairspray and use it to tease the hairs to wherever you want them.

6) The big cover up

Rock an Alice band (they must be coming back into fashion again soon?) or make hats your new thing.

7) Style it out

Last year, catwalk models and celebs were all photographed making a feature of their baby hair. So don’t hide it away, show it off and tell people all the cool kids are doing it.

Like this? You’ll love Claire’s hilarious account of her first family photo shoot – read it here

About Claire Miller

Mum to a toddler with a mischievous grin and Boris Johnson hair. Wife to a husband who still can’t change a dirty nappy without dry-retching. Radio journalist, Cheesy pop music lover, owner of too many pairs of jeans.

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