Dear Santa: A Weird and Wonderful Wishlist

Dear Santa: A Weird and Wonderful Wishlist

He has a lot to answer for you know; Santa, Father Christmas, whatever you call the dude in the red suit who ate all the mince pies.

We tell our gobsmacked children about this legend, this hero who fills stockings and spreads joy. He has a sleigh pulled by flying reindeer, a miraculous mode of transport that can get him round the whole world in one night. He has this brilliant team of elves who all work for him, making toys and finding presents for well-behaved boys and girls. You’ve got to hand it to whoever does this guy’s PR.

The trouble is, when you know the truth that shall not be spoken (until the bubble has been burst by an older sibling) the hard work isn’t really done by Mr Claus is it? The buck stops with you, the parent. But thanks to the magic that we all help to create and perpetuate, you can’t blame a child for believing that anything is possible and every order will be fulfilled.

After one MOLO’s mission to source an aardvark for her son, she asked the Motherload Facebook group if there were any other weird and wonderful demands?

From the random to the ridiculous, this wishlist has it all…

Animals and not pretend ones, real ones please: a puppy, a pig, a hedgehog, a live otter, that squirrel in the tree outside our house, a dolphin.

Vehicles and apart from the odd remote-control request, generally these must be full-sized, grown-up ones that actually work: a tractor, a rocket, a car like Daddy’s for me to drive myself.

Objects that are incredibly large or actually quite small but still tricky to pin down and not that easy to wrap. Items in this category include a volcano, planets and a shadow.

Two separate, simple wishes with something in common. The boy who wants a cheese grater for Christmas and the boy who wants some grated cheese.

Toys that sound amazing like the really cool scooter that one boy described in detail. This gravity-defying bit of kit is awesome apparently because it can drive upside down on the ceiling and do loop the loops and make you go all dizzy when the blood rushes to your head. We shall file these requests under the heading Yet To Be Invented.

Some children have ideas unlikely to become a reality for a few years at least. “Can I have a beard and stroke it all day?” asked one hopeful boy. “You’re under 4 pal but we’ll see what hormones are kicking about and feed you them, see what happens?” replied his resourceful mother.

Even when the item actually exists and is available to buy, it can take great effort and expense to track it down. One child had fallen in love with a toy they played with at a friend’s house that is now discontinued but in demand so selling at a hugely inflated price on eBay. Do you cough up and let Santa take the credit? If you don’t come up with the goods, does that shatter their faith in the all-powerful Mr Christmas at an early age?

Santa Claus is coming to town but whether he makes dreams come true by leaving the perfect present, well that’s up to you. Good luck!

With thanks to the marvellous MOLOs in our Facebook group: Jo Kacperski, Erin Vincent, Hayley Townsend-Brooks, Lyndsey Strang, Claire Nottingham, Fi Probert, Hannah Oliver, Hazel Freear, Claire Preston, Rebecca Coughlan, Rachel Doumbia, Jas Prudhoe Hammond, Lucy Harris, Geraldine Cooper, Liz Conway, Alison McGarragh-Murphy.

About Jill Misson

Mum of two girls who fortunately likes the colour pink. Jill works in radio, producing and presenting programmes which basically means she gets paid to talk. Loves baking and eating cakes but no longer gets to lick the spoon now she has little helpers. 



Jill Misson

Broadcaster, writer and mum of two girls.

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