Well I’m glad I got your attention! Of course I don’t think feminism sucks. I am a feminist in fact I’ve written about it a fair bit. What does suck, though is the fact that we don’t seem to be able to get the right balance. For me being a feminist is about having equal rights, not more, not less but equal. It also means that, as a woman, I can make my own choices.
A female friend and I were talking about marriage while ago, she said that personally she wanted to get married but the feminist in her did not. I asked her why she thought that marriage did not fit with her feminist ideals? I know plenty of feminists that are married. If you want to get married why not? As long as it is your choice and you want to get married then bloody well do it. The same goes for a white dress. If that’s what makes you happy then why not? These are choices as women we are able to make on a daily basis. Whether to wear make up, or not. If you feel confident without it then thats great. Wear a bra or don’t.
I think we often get bogged down with the “ideals” of feminism, we in effect use it as a stick to beat ourselves with and miss the point. Shouldn’t we be able to do what we want, when we want, how we want? Some of my friends refer to themselves as Ms. Some Mrs and some Miss. There is no right or wrong. I understand why many women refer to themselves as Ms, why should our marital status be of any concern to anyone else. I am a Miss – I like it, it makes me sound youthful…or not (wishful thinking).
I am a stay at home mum, but that’s because I want to be. I enjoy being at home with my children. If I didn’t then I could go to work. If their dad was better at looking after them he could do it. Again it is down to choice – not because that is where I am expected to be.
What I am trying to say is there are no rules to being a feminist. Not in my book anyway. Don’t beat yourself up if you like to look feminine (or don’t as the case may be) or want the same surname as your children. There are more important things to worry about like having equal rights, equal pay.
Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t have it all ways, because you can – if you want to – thanks to feminism.
Erica is a feminist stay at home mum to two boys. If sarcasm is the lowest form of wit then she is the lowest of the low. She is a lover of wine, gin and bedtime and hater of the school run. You can follow her blog but she’s mainly found sharing shit on Facebook or Tweeting occasionally, and pretending she’s a photographer on Instagram