Our hearts melted after MOLO Rachael Crowder shared a beautiful moment and some incredible wisdom with us in our fantastic Facebook community last night. She posted a gorgeous photo of her daughter Evelyn, smiling in the Autumn leaves, and this heartfelt message:
“I’ve never posted in this group before, but for months I’ve admired from afar about how uplifting you all are. It’s so different to any other mum group; there’s a solidarity in this group it’s amazing to see.
Anyway, this is my little girl, Evelyn. She’s almost 14 months. Before I had Evelyn I had a history of depression due to various reasons I’d rather not go into. Anyway, when she was born, I sat on my bed and sobbed to a midwife. I had this tiny four day old baby next to me in an incubator, how would I ever be good enough when I’d spent so long feeling that way? The midwife said to me “I can already tell you’re the type of mum who will find fun in the leaves and the squirrels”. I asked her what she meant and she told me how even on her darkest days, she always tried to find a pocketful of happiness, because a pocketful is just enough to keep you going. Sometimes, she said, watching your kids play on the leaves can be all it takes to fill your pocket with happiness. When we were finally discharged from hospital she waved me off and said to me “always remember your pocketful of happiness”.
In the early days of Evelyn being born her words got me through so much. Naturally over the months it drifted to the back of my mind. Today was a rare Saturday off work, but I’m skint, so I decided we’d just go to the park and explore the Autumnal leaves. It wasn’t until I saw my gorgeous girl standing there in the leaves, fascinated by the different colours and cooing at the noises they were making under her feet that I remembered what that midwife had said again and honestly, I felt myself getting so emotional. I could have burst with happiness, it was more than a pocketful. We had so much fun and took some leaves home to do some paintings tomorrow.
So, to any mums in the early days, feeling like you’re drowning, try to find just your pocketful of happiness. Whether it’s a milk-drunk smile from your babe, the feeling of their breath on your skin as they sleep or anything else. I promise, a pocketful of happiness is all you need to get through the day, and one day you’ll have bags full.
Wow. What an inspiring message. So many MOLOs commented to say how Rachael’s message had helped them:
Jess: This has made me cry. My clingy 13 month old and challenging 4 year old have driven me nuts this morning….I needed to see this. Thank you for the beautiful words
Becky: Beautiful words. And so true. In my most tiring of days I find so much joy in the smallest things the little ones do. Thanks for this post.
Catherine: What an amazing post and an amazing midwife with very true and priceless advice. I too suffer with depression and this post has helped me loads.
Rachel: Such a lovely story and what an amazing midwife. Their words can have such an impact either negatively or positively. So glad that she lifted you up when you needed it.
Jess: Bloody love this so much. Thank you for sharing. So important that as Mothers we share stuff like this to help each other through. Much love to you and that beautiful little girl
I think we can all learn something from Rachael and her incredible midwife. Motherhood can be so stressful, so exhausting, so life-changing that we can all feel lost at times. Taking the time to soak up the joy of a simple pleasure, a brief moment can be all we need to sustain us through the tough times – whether it’s watching siblings take a break from fighting to have a hug, or a snotty snuggle with your toddler, or a stomp in the leaves, a pocketful of happiness is all we need.
Thanks so much to MOLO Rachael Crowder for sharing your beautiful post with us. We wish you a many, many more pocketfuls of happiness with Evelyn.
About Alison McGarragh-Murphy
Alison is the Editor of The Motherload®, and is also a radio producer and broadcast journalist, a mum of two and a wife of one. Since becoming a mother she has (mostly) gladly swapped a busy social life of gigs, pubs, art galleries and museums for dancing in the kitchen, drinking on the sofa, finger painting and hanging out at the park. She talks incessantly about not having slept for four and a half years.
Image credit: Rachael Crowder/The Motherload®