MOLO Video: Pregasaurus

Pregasaurus, by Riona O’Connor

Will you breastfeed? Or use a bottle?

Will you go naturally? Have an epidural?   

It’s a boy! You’re carrying high.

Oh it’s a girl! You’re carrying high

It’s twins you’re so big

Are you sure it’s one cause you ain’t no twig

They’re saying I’m a pig. They’re saying I’m a pig

Don’t compare women with dinosaurs

Don’t call me pregasaurus

You think strong tough wild and capable

We hear fat old smelly unstable

Don’t be judging my boobs or my sword holder

It’s not your business how I feed or give birth

If my hormones tell me I’m raving

Then run and get me jam and eggs and pickles I am craving

Just feed me. Feed me now. Go get it.

Was it planned? Or a surprise?

Do you have stretch marks? You’re a bit old/young for kids?

Get sleep cause you ain’t gonna get that ever again ya your life’s over

Wow that is new, brand new information

Don’t compare women with dinosaurs

Don’t call me pregasaurus

If you tell me it’s easy being preggers

Then you can’t feel these ‘ouch oh jesus’, fanny daggers

Don’t be judging my boobs or my sword holder

It’s not your business how I feed or give birth

If he’s still breastfeeding at fifty

Then all I’ll hear from you is wow your tits are nifty.

Milk guns

Acquaintances, friends and strangers

Ask private things beware the dangers

Pereniums, puke, leakage stories

How I conceived on all fours screaming out loud about how I hate tories

You’re gonna get it too much TMI

Don’t compare women with dinosaurs

Don’t call me pregasaurus

I don’t waddle like a zoo exhibit

So unless I’ve got an animal fetish, rrrrr, just zip it

Don’t be judging my boobs or my sword holder

It’s not your business how I feed or give birth

Cause I’ve got a bun in the oven

Don’t ask me who’s the baby daddy I am loving

You think I get around?

Cover up your boobs! Formulas naughty!

Too posh to push! Epidural’s lazy!

Does he sleep through the night?

Don’t let that tiny newborn manipulate you now.