Mommy Magic, by Riona O’Connor
This song is for all of you being nagged by women. Women, telling you you’re lazy cause you don’t clean, tidy or know where the vacuum cleaner is. Bitches!
She says she stayed up late last night cleaning and emptying the crumbs from the toaster cause it started to smell like burn and sets the alarm off. She’s lying…
She says she’s had to load the dishwasher again and scoop all the crap from the bottom cause you never rinse and it turns to sludge. She’s exaggerating…
She says she bleached your pee stains on the toilet seat and they’re not hers cause she doesn’t have a penis and controls her flow. She’s misleading…
Mommy Mommy magic
She says doing house work, sorting the kids, doing a 9-5
Mommy Mommy magic
Hell that’s impossible no-one could do all that crap – and she does not
Mommy Mommy magic
Word up! She gets Fairies in while she’s having her Shiraz, a box set and a bath
Mommy Mommy magic
Fairies do all that crap while she confuses herself by waxing her bits
then researching ways to avoid sex
Mommy Magic
So when she says she needs help with the laundry and ironing the
school uniforms and folding them so they don’t get wrinkled and
putting them away. She don’t need you.
three runs to Tesco she’s done this week after work for your favourite
dinners. Wasting your time.
the floors and have the house to herself for five minutes. She’s masturbating.
But don’t be fooled, don’t listen, put your head back in the sand.
Get your controller and play put the football back on cause she’s got…
Mommy Mommy magic
She says doing house work, sorting the kids and a 9-5
Mommy Mommy magic
Hell that’s impossible no-one could do all that crap – and she doesn’t
Mommy Mommy magic
Word up Fairies clean while she’s having her Shiraz, a box set and a bath
Mommy Mommy magic
Fairies do all that crap while she confuses herself by waxing her bits
then researching ways to avoid sex
Mommy Magic
…The vacuum cleaner is usually under the stairs. You. Lazy….
About Riona O’ Connor
Riona, AKA The Unnatural Woman is an actor, singer, over-eater and blogger, usually found on a West End stage. Nowadays she spends much of her time despairing over how to entertain her young baby or plotting how to make Wine Time as compulsory as baby groups and cake.
Facebook: www.facebook.com/theunnaturalwoman/
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