So my dating history isn’t the most exciting. I grew up the middle girl in a house of 3 girls with a Police Officer for a Dad. His view of boys was tainted by the kind of naughty boy he was. So his rule was no boyfriends until you’re 16 years old and no boys upstairs, either friends or boyfriends. It didn’t help going to an all girls secondary school either. So you could say I was a bit of a late starter!
My first real boyfriend was when I was at Uni, sweet guy but never gonna go anywhere! There were a few messy nights out, the odd frog kissed here and there and a few nice guys in between but nothing really long term or serious. So when I met my ex I thought ‘amazing I can get off this roller-coaster that is dating, settle down, enjoy being with this one person forever and all that married life would bring us.’
So now I find myself single (divorced sounds to sad and legal to me) I’m back on the roller-coaster! Feeling like I’m 18 again and not knowing where to go! I now have the added concern of my beautiful girl to think about. It’s not just me that is on the dating game, it’s both of us.
There are approximately 2,000 dating sites according to Google. So where do you start? Some you pay for, some you don’t, some will match you by age, location, faith group etc. You have to fill out an extensive profile and then fingers crossed they’ll find you Mr Match Perfect. But then don’t opposites attract too?
Or you could go with one of the cattle market types, where you discard or show interest purely on appearance. Nothing like feeling like a piece of meat to boost your ego and put feminism back a few decades!
What about all these TV programmes? Maybe one of those is the way forward? You can opt for a blind date in a posh restaurant, or you get to press the buzzer to opt out of being chosen. You can do it with clothes on or just in your underwear laying on a bed or naked on some tropical island. (I guess so the boys’ bits look at their best.) Maybe you just wait around for a chance encounter at work, maybe a psychic or lots of praying, even resorting to clubbing as a way to pick up Mr Right (trust me this is humiliating).
Let’s pretend that one of these ways actually works and you start chatting to someone, then you have to worry about the date. Do you just do drinks? Or dinner and a movie? Is it best to go out of town or up town? What do you wear out on a date these days? The phrase ‘mutton dressed as lamb’ springs to mind! Who pays the bill, is it still the guy’s responsibility? Should you offer? Do you automatically split it? Should children and ex’s come up on a first date or do you leave this for date two? Too many questions and not enough answers!
I don’t think there will ever be an answer for everything, all you can do is be safe and be ready for anything. Because whichever dating option you chose you have to be ready to put yourself out there, ready to open yourself up to rejection or to love. I think you have to be ready for anything because let’s be honest the prospect of dating is scary business.
Good luck single ladies x
Like this? You can read more about Fiona’s journey as a single mum here or click here for all of Fiona’s MOLO blogs
About Fiona Holter
Fiona is a single mother to a 2 and a half year old daughter. She works full time as a nurse. She says ‘middle child syndrome’ is a real thing, and as a shift worker chocolate should be consumed at any time of the day.