Since when did we decide we must to “have it all”? And what does “have it all” even mean anymore?
Take a few moments to jump forward in time to the end of your days. You are in your rocking chair, reflecting on your life. What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered?
What are you doing NOW to make it happen?
Time is a precious commodity – regardless of what we do, we can’t stop it. Where we spend it, THAT can be controlled.
I am a late 70s child. I was told, as a woman, I can and should have it all. We should expect to be top of the class, have qualifications coming out of our ears, pointy high-heeled shoes on the way to our corner office and Clinique make-up. The big house, the big family full of adventures, time for home baking, daily exercise, PTA meeting…the list goes on.
But after a while, you realise you have lost your sense of self – what YOU want and what everyone else wants has blended so much, that you aren’t quite sure where your goals end and everyone else’s start. It’s exhausting.
You are constantly checking with your friends, family, colleagues, the parenting group mums; you feel like you have to justify your choices or decisions. Even worst, you seek out permission before you make even the smallest change in your routine. Doubts creep in and you start to wonder…
Am I enough?
What I am describing has reached an epidemic; with the rise of social media you can’t move for Instagram filtered lifestyles and the next big craze.
What I want everyone to consider, right now, is what is important to you. Not what your best friend, parents or the next big self-help guru decides is important; YOU!
If you are comparing your definition of “having it all” with another’s, you will always fall short as it isn’t actually what YOU want.
This is my rally cry. Stop and think what is right for you and your family. Don’t be caught up with living another person’s life!
Take out your magic wand and imagine, if you could guarantee success, what would your idea life look like? More time? Less stuff? More adventure? What would you do more of, or less of?
Whatever you see, hear and feel, then work on making that happen. Please don’t let anyone else dictate to you what your “all is”.
Remember, in the words of T. Roosevelt “Comparison is the thief of joy”
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About Clara Wilcox
Clara runs The Balance Collective. She is a mum of two with over a decade’s experience in recruitment and coaching. She offers career and return to work coaching for parents and flexible working consultancy and workshops for businesses. Find out more on The Balance Collective website or find Clara on Facebook, Twitter or connect on LinkedIn!